Pirates! Oh Me! Oh My!
by DisturbedShichinintaiLovers
Summary: Three groups of pirates want each other dead and Commodore Naraku wants to hang them all! Who dies? Does anyone die?


Three groups of pirates all want each other dead and the evil Commodore Naraku is going to hang them all...who kills who first?

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Pirates! Oh me oh my!

Chapter 1: The Shikon No Tama's Tortuga!

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"Commodore!" A short white haired boy called. "Commodore they're stealing the ship!"

The red eyed commodore pulled out his golden telescope. Peering through the small eyehole, he could plainly see four silhouetted figures on one of the best ships in the bay. He retracted it, sighing heavily.

"Lousy pirates...." He muttered darkly.

"Aha! Captain Bankotsu, come here!" One of the taller figures called.

Blue eyes transferred from the open sea to the one calling. Captain Bankotsu flipped his long braid behind him and walked over to the taller one, "What?"

The tall, feminine figure pointed to the Commodore. "Wave to Naraku!" He giggled.

Bankotsu looked at the scowl on Naraku's face and laughed waving, "Thank you Commodore! Thank you for giving us such a WONDERFUL present! We'll take good care of it wont we gents?" He looked back at his crew.

They nodded all smirking. "Bye now!" The girlie one called.

The white haired boy stared at the Commodore, "What's your plan of action?"

Naraku rubbed his brow.

"Sir?"

He looked up; "Charging after them immediately would be suicide...." He hurried down the steps of the main bridge and onto the stone gravel, heading back for headquarters.

"Captain Bankotsu, lets go!"

Bankotsu walked over to the wheel, stroking it lightly. He looked around, "Well, what you all standing there for! Raise the anchor, thrust the sails! Do I have to tell you everything? Move lads, move!"

They did as they were told, leaving Naraku there to watch them sail away on his ship.

Naraku dropped his head.

"They've got to be the best pirates I've ever seen...." The white haired boy stared in awe.

Naraku raised his head, furrowing his brows, "So it would seem...."

"This cannot be good," the white haired officer mumbled.

"Hakudoushi. I want a full report on the history of these four...Kotsu's...immediately."

Hakudoushi nodded. "I'll see if Kanna knows anything." He agreed, running in search of his twin sister.

Naraku banged a clenched fist on the table; "Bloody pirates!"

A brown haired man slunk in, several blasts from a cannon were heard. "Commodore...the town is being attacked."

Naraku clutched his head. "It never ends...." He muttered and rushed out.

The town was in hysteria. The cannon blasts were becoming quite frequent. "Haha!" A confident laugh echoed through the chaos.

A knife cut through one soldier's head, "Ahaha! This is so much fun Kagura!"

"It is isn't it Yuka? Told ya!"

"This is the best fun we've had in months!"

"But," a calm voice interrupted. "We haven't found those damn Kotsu's."

"True, but still, ya gotta admit, this rules!" Yuka sliced off another head.

"Yes. Nevertheless, I have not found anything interesting. Why don't we head back to Tortuga for some drinks?"

Yuka sighed heavily, "If you say so captain."

The black haired woman nodded and the three retreated to the ship. "Maybe they're in Tortuga!"

"Drunk bastards in Tortuga! Here we come!"

The three women sailed into Tortuga, on the lookout for anyone they didn't want to see. Yuka, being the klutz of the group, happened to back right into one of them.

"Hey watch it!" The man snapped.

Yuka growled and snapped around, "You watch it!"

He narrowed his eyes. "You...you're that girl from the Shikon no Tama!" He growled, then smirked. "The Captain will be glad to know I found one...."

Yuka quirked an eyebrow, "Just WHO are you?"

He gave her a mock bow. "Renkotsu, at your service."

Her eyes widened, "You're..." She pointed at him a finger shaking slightly, "You! KIKYOU! KIKYOU!"

Kikyou walked over and her eyes were set on Renkotsu. She smirked. "Well, well, well, where's your captain?"

Yuka growled, slowly reaching for a pistol in her pocket if needed.

Bankotsu walked up with Jakotsu leaning on him. "Well hello Kikyou." He greeted with a cocky smirk.

A small smile broke on Kikyou's face, "Hello Bankotsu." Needless to say her innocent tone was fake.

Finally Suikotsu joined them, and then Kagura joined the girls. "Well."

"Happy reunion...." Yuka muttered, her hand resting on her holster.

Suikotsu avoided looking at the female pirates.

"Well, I suppose you're still seeking Inuyasha?" Bankotsu asked.

"Yes. And I suppose your looking for them too?" Yuka seemed to be the only one talking lately.

"Yes. And, Captain Kikyou, may we make a pact with you?" Bankotsu asked.

"Depends on what it is." Kikyou said emotionlessly.

"On our way here our ship...experienced a few difficulties...and we need a boat. We share your boat, and help you find and kill Inuyasha and his friends. Along with Commodore Naraku."

"And I should agree to this pact why? I know with you Captain Bankotsu, there is ALWAYS some sort of string attached."

"Well, housing, feeding, and caring for the lovable pirates you see before you."

"Where?" Yuka said looking around innocently, "I don't see any lovable pirates. Kagura, what's he talking about?"

Bankotsu gave his best cute smile, supporting the drunk Jakotsu.

Yuka looked at him, "Oh. He means them! Still don't see any lovable pirates. I see a gay one, a pyro-pedophile, an insane one, and...a conceited one."

Renkotsu narrowed his eyes. "We'd be doing a favor to kill you."

Yuka cocked a smirk, "Heh. Whatever, keep spitting out empty threats pryo."

He grabbed her by the throat. "Wanna doubt me little girl?"

She kicked him in the crotch, forcing him to let go, "Empty threats from an empty headed buffoon."

"Yuka!" Kikyou scolded. "We'll take you up on your offer, but one out-of-line thing and we'll throw you to the sharks."

"Humph. And it's no threat. It's a promise." Yuka said, staring at the ground.

Kagura nodded and they started back towards the ship. Yuka continued to mutter incoherent things, not caring if Kikyou heard them or not.

They got on the ship and began sailing away. "Inuyasha, look out, we're coming for you head!" Bankotsu cheered.

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A/N: REVIEWS!


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